I’ve Lost My Wisdom

 

Hey, I know it’s been a while. These last two months have been humbling and exhausting and I haven’t had much energy to write. During this first semester of medical school, I’ve learned the entire human body, a multitude of rare genetic disorders and the molecular basis of disease. It was a little bit like a workout that you look at and don’t think will be that bad. Yet, after slugging your way through the workout you are left gasping for air, wondering how you were tricked. I made it through anatomy and slugged my way through molecules to medicine then found myself reaching for the surface.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well in school. I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed in general. I identify as a 3 on the Enneagram personality tests, “The Achiever”. I’ve always been this person, striving for success and the acceptance of others. Thriving on straight A’s and comments like “good job”. This semester challenged me in ways that I didn’t expect.

Even this blog. I feel a certain amount of pressure to make it a success. Will people read it? Will the grammar be correct? Is this a good picture to share? I haven’t posted in a while, I really should write something. I don’t have anything interesting to share.

I’m constantly reminding myself of the reasons for starting a Glimpse of Grace. To find value and beauty and grace in our everyday lives. To share my life and the lessons I’m learning with those that choose to listen. Yet, somehow, the perfectionist in me wants this page to be perfect. Honestly, that is just plain exhausting and I’m sorry, but it won’t ever be flawless.

Looking through my photos I realize that there have been many things worth sharing. Here are just a few of the things I’ve done that I neglected to think were meaningful —-

  • I realized a dream and got a fiddle leaf fig [I haven’t killed it yet either]

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  • I visited my dear friends in Atlanta for a wedding. Every day I wish I could transport them to Denver.
  • I tried out new coffee shops and study spots. My favorites include – Union Station, The Stanley Marketplace, Steep, and the 3rd-floor study room at the library.
  • We went to a story slam and heard people share their personal stories about “control”.
  • I celebrated Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving with some of my favorite people in some of my favorite places.
  •  We helped serve a meal at the Denver Rescue Mission.

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  • We got dressed up and spent the evening at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. We didn’t take any pictures once we got there, so it must have been fun.
  • Yesterday, I got my wisdom teeth removed. I don’t remember anything, from the moment when they placed the IV to when I woke up with gauze filling my mouth, fighting my heavy eyelids. We drove home in the snow and I laid on the couch, changing ice packs, taking pain medication and watching The Crown.

Here’s hoping I haven’t lost all of my wisdom, just the teeth. Here’s to getting back up again when life tries to knock you down. Here’s to celebrating and embracing our imperfections. I’m gonna go make some Christmas cookies now.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Lists

If I don’t post my Atlanta bucket list, do I still leave Atlanta?
This is the struggle and lately it’s been a constant battle of emotions in my head and heart. I am beyond thrilled to be going home. I am thrilled to breath the mountain air and to be in a place, knowing I am taking the next steps towards my dream. Yet, I am sad to be leaving. It seems like it’s too soon. I’m just beginning to feel known and moving back to Colorado feels a little bit like starting over. I’ll be in the same city, but a different me [also, my new roommates are the rents, but they will probably have more fun than me with all my studying. I’ll be asking them when they’ll be home…]

I would be lying if I said that I haven’t changed at all since I arrived in Georgia. I’m thankful for these changes because each and every one of them have made me stronger. They have taught me how to better love one another. They have taught me to have my own opinion and worry less about what other people say. This adventure has taught me about risk, but most importantly about trust. Trust that He will provide and equip us with the necessary things to go out and honor Him.

If you are laying in bed wondering if you should move to another state, run the marathon, start the blog, change your job, travel to another country or whatever else is challenging you right now the answer is yes. Do it. Take that leap of faith.


Here is my Atlanta Bucket List – places to go and food to eat before I leave the City in the Forest. There is room for improvement so write any other ideas you have in the comments! I will update this post as I cross things off the list —-

Places to Eat:

  • Home Grown
  • Ria’s Bluebird
  • Buford HWY
  • Heirloom BBQ
  • Flying Biscuit

Places to Hike:

  • Max Patch, NC ✔️
  • Cumberland Island
  • Providence Canyon
  • AT Approach Trail ✔️
  • Lulu Lake Land Trust
  • Springer Mountain ✔️
  • Brass Town Bald
  • Yonah Mountain ✔️
  • Tallulah Gorge Floor

Other Places to Go and Things to Do:

  • BAPS Shri swaminarayan mandir Atlanta
  • North Georgia vineyard ✔️
  • Braves Baseball Game
  • Savannah
  • Find rooftop views of downtown
  • PCM farmers market
  • Picnic @ Piedmont Park
  • See pandas in Atlanta

Photos are from my latest excursion – the AT Approach Trail from Amicalola Falls to Springer Mountain, and back. This was a challenging – long – hike that had decent elevation variability and is possibly my favorite hike in Georgia to date. We had fantastic weather and completed the hike in ~6 hours! As I prepare for the Ultimate Hike at the end of April this was definitely good training.

I love u wknd 

The ladies in my house church are trying to plan a girls trip this summer and the only thing it’s accomplishing in doing is proving to me how little time I have left in Georgia. I counted. There are only 4 months — or 16 weekends. Time is scarce and these remaining weekends have just become significantly more valuable.

About a month ago I re-downloaded the dating app Bumble. It’s pretty much like all of the other dating apps with the unique twist that the girl has to send the first message [In general, I don’t like always being the first person to write something, but this way I can avoid the creepy/unwanted messages]. My interest in finding Mr. Right is low given that I’m packing up my life in just a few months, but my interest in trying as many restaurants in Atlanta is quite high. I figured this might be a fun way to accomplish that goal.

I’ve been on one date since writing my “about me” and I think it could have gone better.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and we met up at the Westside Provisions area in West Midtown. The date started outside on the patio at Barcelona Wine Bar [one of my fav places in the city] accompanied by decent conversation and red wine sangria. We talked about our jobs and our dreams. What books we are reading, what we do on the weekends, movies, music, sports. All the typical first-date stuff. He talked about making plans for another date, paid the check and then we jay-walked across the street for Jenis Ice Cream [also one of my fav places]. All in all, the date was pretty good up to this point.

Where things went wrong was the moment I went to give him a hug goodbye and he went in for the kiss. Let me tell you, this wasn’t your average kiss. It was open mouth, tongue, and so, so much spit. In complete shock I pulled away and he states, “I guess you aren’t that kind of girl”. [Are you serious?] My response was, “Nope”, followed by laughter, followed by an apology, followed by “text me about dinner next week”. I haven’t heard from him since and that is totally fine by me.

For all the men out there wondering if they should kiss a girl on a first date with tongue, maybe reconsider? Or at least don’t start out with that…thnx.

I still want to cross new restaurants off my bucket list minus the wet kiss. Maybe I’ll go on more dates, maybe I’ll have some more stories to tell from it.

I love a good story. Huge fan.


I’ll share my full Atlanta Bucket List shortly, but in the meantime here are some pics from last weekend with my cousin Sarah visiting. We checked out the rooftop @ Ponce City Market, ate at Victory Sandwich, cooked up some fresh stir fry, and I solo hiked at Pine Log Creek and Quarry. There was so much moss in the water that it *almost* looked radioactive.

 

Sorry Daryll

Let me tell you a story, about a time [1 week ago] that I learned that people usually aren’t “nice and want to help you with your yard work”. 

Here in Atlanta there are A LOT of trees that translates to A LOT of leaves. I’m pretty sure that the house I rent has not had a proper rake job done in at least 5 years. Now, I know it’s not my job as a renter to do the upkeep and yard work, but I want to be proud of the space I inhabit. I want to walk up to my front door and not cringe because of how bad our yard looks. 

On Saturday I borrowed a rake, grabbed a bunch of bags and set to clean up the leaves. I was mid-leaf raking and weed pulling when this older man walked up with his lawn mower and rake in tow. He asked, “Would you like some help?” I hesitated a moment and looked around; it seemed like I had it handled. I was slowly chugging away with one half of the yard and there was plenty of daylight left. It was when he suggested that he could work on the other half AND that he had pruners to help with the bushes that I agreed. 

We both turned, started working on our sides of the yard, and it was at this point that I started to feel weird about the whole thing. First of all, why was this random guy walking around with a lawn mower and all the tools the do yard work? Second, I was the only person home and while it was the middle of the day I still wondered if I should text my roommates. [Uh oh, my phone was in the house]. As all of these thoughts are racing through my head, I’m pulling weeds and pushing leaves into bags. Finally, I think, “gosh, he probably wants me to pay him!”

Upon this epiphany, I looked over and said, “Daryll, I’m sorry but I think I misunderstood you. I actually don’t have any money to give you”.  He huffed and gave a retort at how did I expect him to do the work for free, then stomped off with his lawn mower. Whoops. 

Moral of the story? 

  • Random strangers don’t want to help you with your yard work. 
  • There is always an ulterior motive. 
  • I am super naïve.